SUNDAY REWIND | The “Where are you from?” question
By 
Shan-ul-Hai •
July 20, 2008
I’ve been asked questions like “where are you from?” many times. Every time, it’s clear to me that the inquisitor wants to know what country I was born in. I refuse to succumb; it’s not that I have any lack of respect for my background, but I just don’t understand why the person has to assume that I was born abroad. Usually, I respond with a simple “Here” if I’m in St. Louis at the time, “St. Louis” if I’m somewhere near St. Louis, or “Missouri” if I’m far away somewhere. The person is usually disappointed with the answer (since they just wanted to know whether to treat me like a terrorist or a tech support rep), so I’ll typically elaborate with “I was born in Pakistan” just for good measure.
Occasionally, the person probes deeper, as was the case today. I was asking for directions at the one of the Smithsonian museums in Washington DC, and the information representative asked me where I was from. This was one of the cases where I was happy to respond with “Missouri”, since she had only asked in response to my statement “there are no Ethiopian restaurants where I come from”. I really did mean Missouri when I said that, but she made sure to elaborate, “Where are you from originally?”
Personally, I have no qualms about saying that I’m from Pakistan, since I am, in fact, from Pakistan. On the other hand, I remember being in the car when a friend (whose parents happen to be Indian) was pulled over for speeding… when the officer asked him where he was from, he replied “India”. In fact, he has been to India two or three times in his life, and doesn’t even fluently speak any Indian languages. He was born and raised in Missouri, and he’s not the only such person who I have seen asked this question. Why do people assume that if you have brown skin, then you must be foreign? These few people are far more American than I am, and the issue bothers me a little bit… so I’m sure that they have to second-guess their answer too.
More than one out of every ten US residents was born in another country. Many of them are still white, so nobody ever asks them where they’re from. In my opinion, the only thing that justifies a question like “what country are you from?” is a person’s accent… my accent is as neutral and Midwestern as Dan Rather’s, so why do people automatically assume that I’m foreign?
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I would consider this question rude and practice the reply “Why do you want to know?”
This will accomplish a couple of things for you. First, you might get to the bottom of their thinking. Most people are just curious I think, especially in the USA. Then too, you actually gain control of the conversation that way.
Or perhaps you could respond with “Where are YOU from?” and get some of the same things. This might even build some rapport for you.
My typical answer has always been ‘from the planet earth’ which no body knows what to do with.
I don’t think you have to put up with this rudness. I realized I was doing it for people with an accent. I was actually interested in where the ACCENT was from I realized, and THAT is the question I started asking - and I was getting a much better, more harmonious answer.
I really love languages and I’m curious to learn where someone learned their language from, simply to learn where it’s from.
I had some prejudice when I was very young and I had to (literally) weed it out of myself. It was troubling as it wasn’t something I created for myself but something I obtained from those around me. I took care of it though. We need some prejudice I think, to help us pick a meal from a menu, to choose the color of the car we drive, things like that.
We sure don’t need it with our planetary travelers. We all bleed red don’t we?
Pam Hoffman
http://seminarlist.blogspot.com
dude,
i love telling people what country i am from “originally” simply b/c it gives me a sense of superiority over the person who asks me that question. besides almost every part of the world has more antiquity and history than US (except maybe pakistan lol idk) … so yea i love being a foreigner … if you’ve interacted w/ europeans much, you’ll notice that they often ensure that people know they are european … but to be fair many people ask the question b/c they are genuinely interested in knowing …
pachakuti
Yeah..whenever I go overseas to Asia or Europe, people always ask me where I’m from …since many of them think I might be Canadian or something and they want to know about what state I’m from so they can cross reference it with their outdated hollywood western they watched 6 months ago…so I know what you mean…
“(since they just wanted to know whether to treat me like a terrorist or a tech support rep)”
This is quite simpleminded of you. If and when I ask someone that question, its more because I’m curious as to why they chose to let their lives lead them to the US, as well as finding out more about someone I am getting acquainted with.
Just because I speak perfect American English without an accent doesn’t necessarily mean I’m from the US either, nor does my pale white skin.
Anyhow, you should really rethink judging people for what they ask you. You don’t know what they’re thinking when they pose the question, and for you to imply that those are the only two things they think of is rather childish and immature.