Globally Rational

One of my favorite America social issues are the two big questions we make sure to file away from time to time. They are:

1 - Why did we elect Bush?

And

2 - Why did we re-elect Bush?

1 - Al Gore was like our best friend’s dad. A nice guy you didn’t want to sit in the room too long with. Also, he worked for a guy who sexed interns. George Bush didn’t sex interns, and secretly, we all commended him for being human enough to drive drunk. Or whatever he did back then. Something bad.

2 - John Kerry was a nationally decorated, highly experienced bore. He was the least charismatic candidate in the primary, and won in the last minute because Dean (Howard Dean 2004-2012 RIP) made a totally inhuman noise, which probably endangered more lives than driving drunk. George Bush however, and here’s the hook, hated gays. We’ve forgotten now, but the big issue in 2004 was gay marriage and religion. The plurality of exit polling showed that votes voting bush were doing so for ‘cultural values.’ Our lovely culture of gay-hating bible-strokers.

The idea I mean to address here is that as a nation, we are expected to share the guilt of Bush’s presidency equally. I find this to be bullshit. In the last eight years, democracy has steadily managed to prove itself a totally ineffective system when your public sphere is the size of a metaphoric 8-ball. People are openly retarded, and somewhere from 199X to 2004+ people got so retarded they voted for the ‘leader of the free world’ based on which candidate HATED GAYS MORE. I will wear a badge that says ‘Eliteier than you’ if it will bore it into your heads that you, the ill informed, the people even now voting against Obama for being black or Muslim (who cares if he was), voting for McCain at all, or slandering Carter for doing the president’s job for him made a man into president who cost us trillions and left hundreds of thousands dead.

To sum. It’s not my fault the stupid outweighed the enlightened. Bush is not my fault and I’ll accept none of the responsibility. My only hope is that this time around, you won’t just be lulled by a message of change, you’ll be shock-therapied into reading a book or making your kids do their homework so we can avoid this in the future.

I need a drink.

Popularity: 50% [?]

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!