The “Where are you from?” question
By 
Shan-ul-Hai •
April 16, 2008
I’ve been asked questions like “where are you from?” many times. Every time, it’s clear to me that the inquisitor wants to know what country I was born in. I refuse to succumb; it’s not that I have any lack of respect for my background, but I just don’t understand why the person has to assume that I was born abroad. Usually, I respond with a simple “Here” if I’m in St. Louis at the time, “St. Louis” if I’m somewhere near St. Louis, or “Missouri” if I’m far away somewhere. The person is usually disappointed with the answer (since they just wanted to know whether to treat me like a terrorist or a tech support rep), so I’ll typically elaborate with “I was born in Pakistan” just for good measure.
Occasionally, the person probes deeper, as was the case today. I was asking for directions at the one of the Smithsonian museums in Washington DC, and the information representative asked me where I was from. This was one of the cases where I was happy to respond with “Missouri”, since she had only asked in response to my statement “there are no Ethiopian restaurants where I come from”. I really did mean Missouri when I said that, but she made sure to elaborate, “Where are you from originally?”
Personally, I have no qualms about saying that I’m from Pakistan, since I am, in fact, from Pakistan. On the other hand, I remember being in the car when a friend (whose parents happen to be Indian) was pulled over for speeding… when the officer asked him where he was from, he replied “India”. In fact, he has been to India two or three times in his life, and doesn’t even fluently speak any Indian languages. He was born and raised in Missouri, and he’s not the only such person who I have seen asked this question. Why do people assume that if you have brown skin, then you must be foreign? These few people are far more American than I am, and the issue bothers me a little bit… so I’m sure that they have to second-guess their answer too.
More than one out of every ten US residents was born in another country. Many of them are still white, so nobody ever asks them where they’re from. In my opinion, the only thing that justifies a question like “what country are you from?” is a person’s accent… my accent is as neutral and Midwestern as Dan Rather’s, so why do people automatically assume that I’m foreign?
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America is the oddest place - has it gotten more noticeable since Sept 11, or is this something you’ve encountered your whole life?
I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone where they were from, unless I needed the context for a conversation or somesuch. I think it is an awfully rude question, honestly!
I’ve definitely been running into it since well before 9/11, which is saying a lot because I was only 15 when 9/11 happened (so people even asked me that question when I was a kid).
I really don’t like answering that question, just like I don’t like answering “how much money do you make?” It’s not that I have a problem with my heritage… I just don’t like people to look at me any differently because of my background.
I have a similar amusing story about that. My father was born in asia but my mother is white, I was born here in NA so I’m a mix. One day I was talking to a fellow and the topic of me being half asian came up. The guy then proceeded to argue with me that I wasn’t half asian. He said I didn’t look asian enough for him to believe me. People are just weird sometimes when it comes to race.
I never bother to ask people where they’re from. I figure if they want to tell me they will. I think when people ask it’s for one of two reasons. Either they are suspicious of you, or they genuinely like you and want to learn more about your heritage.
Agreed. I’ve always thought that asking people that is really strange. No one is really “from” America unless you pick an arbitrary date (before which all inhabitants of this country are American and after which they are immigrants). Then again, no one is really from anywhere, I suppose, since continents have shifted and people have been moving from place to place since humans existed.
Last year, when we were studying the Constitution, many people said “shut up Henry, you can never be President anyway.” in response to several of my questions. In fact, I was born in St. Louis and I have lived here all my life.
Wow. I can’t even imagine why any one would be uncomfortable when asked “where are you from”. I for one care where people are from so it gives me a point of reference as we discuss something. I can better understand their take on current events or maybe what they will think of me, as I share where I’m from. I’m proud of where I from. In MHO to not be is to deny some part of who you are. I’m justa saying!!
Hm that’s interesting. I always get where are you from because I was born in Louisiana so my mom has an accent and apparently mine shows through sometimes. And this is because now we live in Jersey
And it is kind of annoying because people automatically think I’m a bigot/Republican/close-minded individual when I am definitely not! Neither is my mom so it’s kind of annoying when people give you that look after you tell them where you’re from. As if they should judge. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, my friend. Can’t we all just like each other? Why do we have to be so racist and judgemental…blech!
My parents each immigrated to the U.S. (from Cuba) when they were 10 y/o, and I was born in the U.S. My parents & I have never been to Cuba for a visit. The “where are you from question” annoys me because people are not asking to know what part of the U.S. I’m from, but I’m not FROM anywhere else. Does anyone have a good answer they give when they asked this question? Now that I am 26 y/o, I wonder when “Florida” will be a good enough reply.